Who does she think she is? Why, that girl is tangled with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston! Darn right! Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated. Why, it's more than I can bear. More beer! What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. Who, you? Never! Gaston, you gotta pull yourself together. Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston, even when taking your lumps. There's no man in town as admired as you. You're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why. No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston. For there's no man in town half as manly. Perfect a pure paragon. You can ask any Tom Dick or Stanley, and they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on. No one's thin like Gaston. A kinkin' like Gaston. No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston. As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating. My, what a guy, that Gaston! Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip hips. Gaston is the best, and the rest is all drips. No one fights like Gaston, houses lights like Gaston. In a wrestling match, nobody fights like Gaston, for there's no one as burly and brawny. As you see, I've got biceps to spare. Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny. That's right, and every last inch of me's covered with hair. No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston. In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston. I'm especially good at expanderating to eat. Ten points for Gaston! When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge. Who plays dice like Gaston? Who breaks hearts like Gaston? Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston? When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver, and the beasts of the field say a prayer. First I carefully aim for the liver, then I shoot from behind. Is that fair? I don't care. No one shoots like Gaston, makes those feuds like Gaston. And those dropping around wearing boots like Gaston. I use antlers in all of my decorating. Say it again, who's a man among men? And let's say it once more, who's the hero next door? Who's a super success, don't you know, can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on. There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down. And his name's G-A-S-T-E, G-A-S-T-E, Gaston!