Just if I might die, I want you right by my side I know you don't understand my words, but you will eventually Just if I might die, I want you right by my side I know you don't understand my words, but you will eventually But when you get older, I hope you don't hold this *** against me I hope you understand I love you more than life itself And this is nothing but your daddy's thoughts when he was feeling empty And everything ain't always what it seemed like on the outside I fought so many tears that you would never see the outcry I never wanted kids until I lived and went through hard times And became a man that fell in love with someone that my heart finds But you know how that *** go Young and reckless, different women part time And I wasn't ready for that life yet, I was in my dark prime Me and your moms ain't get along and she gave me a hard time I really think that we just crossed paths at the wrong time I wasn't happy when she said she was pregnant Probably the worst news of my life, that *** was so depressing I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it I'm sorry that I said that ***, y'all was trippin' I know you don't understand my words, but you will eventually But when you get older, I hope you don't hold this *** against me And I never wanted to broke a home to raise you from a distance Yeah, I'll admit it, I was scared of that type of commitment Even hopes of a miscarriage, anything bad that could happen That'd get me out of that situation I was living I felt like *** about my thoughts, that wasn't me, I'm different Plus I was dealing with some demons that I couldn't live with I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it I know you don't understand my words, but you will eventually And when you get older, I hope you don't hold this *** against me Hope you don't hate me, I was selfish, I hope you forgive me Forgive me Forgive me And I still remember your baby shower like it was yesterday To your mom, it was special, me, just another day I wish that you could see the pictures, all the fake phony smiling Had to pretend that I was happy, deep down I was crying I asked if I'm okay, I turned around and looked away I was crying on my tears, looked back to say yeah, I was lying Goddamn, how the hell I get here, this is it, this supposed to be my life This ain't how I pictured it, I never felt so damn alone But it was more than often, one of the worst days of my life And I ain't even lying, we argued when we came home, I blame myself for all this I think that I was holding a grudge cause she ain't get an abortion I'm sorry And I know that you can't understand my words, but you will eventually And when you get older, I hope you don't hold this *** against me I can't believe I try to hurt you, I hope you forgive me, please And everything ain't always what it seem like on the outside I fight so many tears that you would never see the outcry I sacrifice my life so you can live in peace When I give you things my father couldn't give to me I think I was raised wrong and that's just what it is to me And if you ask him, then his ass gon' probably disagree But whatever, whatever And nothing's ever made me cry as much as you, I swear Your smile gives me motivation and some new ideas My worst fear was always you not knowing who I am Cause I've been on the road, dream chasin' for you out here I was the first thing that you opened your eyes to And the last one that you said goodnight to, I went home and cried to And I bawled my eyes out and then watched you, glad I got you, that's a blatant fact And every negative thing I said, I swear, I take it back I know you don't understand my words, but you will eventually When you get older, I hope you don't hold this *** against me Hope you understand I love you more than I love myself And this is nothing but your daddy's thoughts when he was feelin' empty I was feelin' empty I've been feelin' empty I put my emotions in his music when I'm feelin' empty I hope you forgive me Please Please LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL