All lined up in a wedding group,
here we are for a photograph
We're all dressed up in a morning suit,
all trying not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur took a trip to Gretna Green
There's always been a photographer to recall the happy scene
Oh dear,
Blast Band,
what a,
what a picture,
click,
what a picture,
what a photograph
Poor old soul, love me, what a joke
At low and offering a cloud of smoke,
clap hands,
stamp your feet,
banging on the big bass drum
What a picture,
what a picture,
until the um-pum-pum-pum-pum,
stick it in your family elbow
The same thing happened long ago when man was in his prime
And what went on we only know from the snaps he took at the time
When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit decided to get wed
As Adam was about to taste the fruit,
the man with the camera said
Oh dear,
Blast Band,
what a picture,
click,
what a picture,
what a photograph
Poor old Eve,
there with nothing on,
face all red and the fig leaf gone,
clap hands,
stamp your feet,
banging on the big bass drum
What a picture,
what a picture,
until the um-pum-pum-pum-pum,
stick it in your family elbow
You read it in a folio or seen it in a Shakespeare play
How Juliet fell for Romeo in the merry month of May
And as he climbed the orchard wall to reach his lady fair
As he tumbled she began to bawl as he travelled through the air
Oh dear,
Blast Band,
what a picture,
click,
what a picture,
what a photograph
Poor young chap,
what a night he spent,
tights all torn,
his rapier bent,
clap hands,
stamp your feet,
banging on the big bass drum What a picture,
what a picture,
until the um-pum-pum-pum-pum,
stick it in your family elbow
Oh dear,
Blast Band,
what a picture,
click,
what a picture,
what a photograph
Poor young chap,
what a night he spent,
tights all torn,
his rapier bent,
clap hands,
stamp your feet,
banging on the big bass drum What a picture,
what a picture,
until the um-pum-pum-pum-pum,
stick it in your family elbow
Stick it in your family,
stick it in your family,
stick it in your family elbow