Nine years of your coffee mug in my sink
And five of them wonder,
really mine
I kept the ring in a sock for 97 days
Practiced dropping the 1D in the hallway mirrors haze
I booked the rooftop where we had our first slow dance
Wrote the speech in my notes,
app every word by chance
You wore my hoodie like a promise every winter night
We built a life in tiny pieces,
thought we got it right
I never saw you flinch when he walked through the door
Never caught the way your eyes asked him for more
Love can be a house where someone else has the key
I was just the one who paid the rent
and never learned to see
You said,
sit down baby,
there's something I have to say
I tore nine years in half on an ordinary Tuesday
I've been in love with your brother God for five whole years
Five years of lies in our bed,
five years of swallowed tears
I was picking out forever while you were picking him
The ring in my fist turned to ice against my skin Five
years in the next room and I never heard you leave
He stood in the kitchen when you told me you couldn't
read my eyes The same hands that taught me to drive,
now stealing my whole life
I saw the guilt in both of you,
thick enough to choke You said we never crossed
the line but every look broke the code Thanksgiving
birthday's the way you passed him the salt
Every smile I thought was mine was already his by default
I slept beside a ghost who dreamed of someone else
And called it love because it hadn't killed me yet
You cried like you were sorry,
like tears could glue to break Like five years of quiet treason was
a little mistake I laughed until I couldn't deny when I'm in still
The ring box in my pocket felt heavier
than the world Five years in the next room,
while I planned a future for three
I still see you in his passenger seat
Same playlist, same laugh, same street
He got the girl,
I built my whole damn world around And I got
the echo of a question I never got to sound
So keep the hoodie,
keep the plans,
keep the life we made I'll keep the ring
and the silence where my future decayed
You fell in love with my brother while I fell on my knees
Nine years turned into never,
just like that,
just like these
Five years in the next room,
I hope the walls still speak my name
When you lie awake beside him and pretend you're not ashamed
The ring's still in the side,
I can't throw it away
Some questions stay on us forever
when the answer walks away