Father Macklecuddy spotted a silk hat over a flowing beard
and a fine dashy cut in a velvet waistcoat and cutaway coat
sitting up on the side of a sidecar
knocking sparks out of the road going into town every Wednesday.
Young lads playing pitch and toss
when they heard the horse they'd shout
Inside the ditch! Father Mack's car is coming!
He'd drive straight into town and straight up to High Street
and then he'd bring the horse skeeting on his four feet
to a sudden halt in front of Tedious's
where he'd get the few commands for the week.
At that time there'd be poor men holding up the corners
only too glad of the opportunity to earn a few pence
holding a horse by the head.
Wasn't that how Shakespeare started in London?
Father Mack would call one of these
Flynn, come here and hold my horse.
Flynn would and hold him every Wednesday
but he'd get nothing for his trouble
although Father Mack wouldn't.
He wouldn't refuse an offering himself.
Flynn used to grumble
but seeing who he was trucking with
he didn't have the gumption to demand his rights
but as the man said
constant dropping wears the stone.
This Wednesday when Father Mack O'Curdy drove up
Flynn walked away.
Come here Flynn, said Father Mack
and hold my horse.
I will not, Father.
Come here Flynn.
I will not, says Flynn.
I'm holding him long enough for you now
and you never gave me nothing for it.
Flynn said, Flynn, do you hear?
Hold my horse or I'll stick you to the ground.
Ah dear, says Flynn.
Why don't you stick the horse to the ground so, Father?
Henry Ford had no more than invented the automobile
when Father Mack O'Curdy had one.
He was the only one in the parish with a motorcar
until after the Boer War
and the backfiring of that instrument
drove all the animals cracked.
Distracted farmers hopping off the wings of sidecars
taking off the wheels of the motorcars.
and putting them over the horse's heads
until Father Mack's car was gone.
Oh, and a reckless driver.
Failing to take a turn
didn't he go through Caneen Casey's gate
and knock down a cow inside in the field?
When Caneen saw the car
he couldn't get over it.
He said for a thing that could run so fast
wasn't it a great wonder it couldn't jump as well?
He knelt down beside the cow
as grief-stricken as if it was his own mother.
The neighbours came running in.
Is the cow dead?
Dead, says Larry.
No, says Caneen.
She's not dead
but she doesn't know anyone.
A Yankee Doodle went to town
riding on a pony.
He bought a brush and curry
come to brush his taglioni.
I goes, oh, how hard he had to hoe.
Oh, how hard he had to hoe.
Oh, how hard he had to hoe.
I can hear Kimmel shed a honey.