A big fantasy of mine before I got married
was to help as many men as possible
discover their prostate.
Yeah, like a conqueror.
I just wanted to...
Now, if you haven't done it before,
ladies, go home and treat yourself.
Do it tonight.
You only live once.
YOLO.
Just sneak your...
Just give your man a little push-push
in the tush-tush.
Give him a little Atari, you know?
And you'll get a lot of resistance
from the man at first.
You'll get a lot of,
No, no, no, no, please, no, really, I don't, no.
I don't, I don't, no.
They get all squirmy-wormy
because they're scared.
They're scared that if you stick your thumb up there
and succeed, and they like it,
that then it might mean that they're gay.
And I like that fear.
That * turns me on, you know?
Especially when that fear metamorphosizes into pleasure.
Oh, my God.
And you just see the look in the man's eye
like he's discovered nirvana.
And it's like you're the first lady to show him
that he had a magical clit in his butthole.
And then you, as the woman in his eyes,
just become the lord of the rim, you know?
My husband is unfortunately just not as freaky as me.
When I've asked him to spank me,
this is what he does.
Hey, hey, are you okay?
Are you all right?
You know I respect you, right?
I'm like, yes, I know you respect me,
and that's why you need to abuse me.
Okay?
Because it's the most strong-headed, loud-mouthed women
who like to be abused the most in bed.
Women who are CEOs, they just want to be roughed around.
They just want their...
Glasses always means the woman wants them...
Ah!
Ah!

Ah!
Ah!

Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
It's because we're so in control all the time
that we just want to experience some risk
and be out of control, you know?
Like, I don't want to die.
Don't kill me.
I don't want to die.
But I also don't want to be sure that I'm going to live.
You know?
I just want to be out of control for once.
Just choke me enough so that I can't talk.
Because if I can talk, I'm going to tell you what to do.
And I'm tired of being the boss.
I'm the boss all the time, so in the bedroom, you be the boss.
Yes.
Because I'm the real boss.
And I told you so, motherfucker, so do it.
And I told you so, motherfucker, so do it.