Oh, oh, oh, oh Cinderella's on her bedroom floor She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore And she forgets why she came here The sleeping beauty's in a foul mood for shame She says, none for you, dear prince, I'm tired today I'd rather sleep my whole life away Than have you keep me from dreaming Cause I don't care for your fairy tales You're so worried about the maiden Oh, you know she's only waiting on the next best thing Snow White is doing dishes again Cause what else could you do with seven itty-bitty men? Sends them to bed and she calls up her friend Says, would you meet me at midnight? Oh, the tall blonde, retired, a cry of despair Says, would I cut it myself if I knew men could climb Here I'd have to find another tower somewhere And keep away from the windows Cause I don't care for your fairy tales You're so worried about the maiden Oh, you know she's only waiting on the next best thing Next best thing Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom A man made up a story, said that I should believe him Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight But I don't want the next best thing So I sing, I hold my head down And I break these walls around me Can't take no more of your fairy tale love Cause I don't care for your fairy tales You're so worried about the maiden Oh, you know she's only waiting on the next best thing I don't care, I don't care I worry about the maiden Oh, you know she's only waiting Spent her whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience And a dumb appreciation But the story needs an ending And a better happy ending Cause I don't want the next best thing No, no, I don't want the next best thing