One, two, three, four! My enemies are sick or dead But all the victories I've led Haven't brought you to my bed You see, everybody loves me, baby What's the matter with you? Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you? You're the purest race I've bred for thee To live in my democracy And the highest human pedigree Awaits your first-born boy, baby And my face on every coin and grave The anarchists are all enslaved My own flag is forever waved By the grateful people I have saved You see, everybody loves me, baby What's the matter with you? Won't you tell me what did I do to offend you? Now, no land is beyond my claim When the land is seized in the people's name Like evil men who rob a name If war is hell, I'm not to blame Why you can't blame me? I'm the heaven's child I'm the second son of Mary Mile And I'm twice removed from Oscar Wilde But he didn't mind, why, he just smiled It's in the ocean parts when I walk through Where the clouds dissolve and the sky turns blue I'm held in very great value By everyone I meet with you Cos I've used my talents as I could I've done some bad, I've done some good I did a whole lot better than they thought I would So come on and treat me like you should Because everybody loves me, baby What's the matter with you? Tell me what did I do to offend you? Whoo! Yeah! Everybody loves me, baby What's the matter with you? Tell me what did I do to offend you? Yeah! Everybody loves me, baby What's the matter with you? Tell me what did I do to offend you? Yeah!