She packed her bags on December 23rd
Said the holidays make everything feel too real
And I can't breathe in here
Kissed my cheek like it was nothing Walked out into the snow
Left the tree half decorated And the porch light burning cold
I stood there in the doorway Watching tail lights disappear
Now the silence sounds like jingle bells Ringing in my ears
Every light feels fake tonight Every color too damn bright
Strung up joy that's blinking lies right into my eyes
The whole street's dressed in red and
green But it's all monochrome to me
Since she said Christmas makes it real
And real is too much for her to keep
Now every light feels fake And none of them can reach the dark
inside of me
Inside of me
I still plug the damn thing in
The tree we picked out in the rain
Her favorite ornament's crooked The one that says our names
I can't bring myself to fix it Can't bring myself to take it down
So I sit here on the hardwood counting
seconds Till it burns the house to the ground
Carols leaking from the neighbors Laughing kids out throwing snow
I hate them all for feeling something I don't know
Every light feels fake tonight Every ball a cheap disguise
Trying hard to sell a feeling that already died
I used to love the way they shimmered on her face this time of year
Now they're just electric reminders That she isn't here
Every light feels fake And none of them
can reach the dark she left behind in me
I keep thinking if I leave her
Or maybe she'll come walking back
Say she made a mistake Say she wants her real again
It's 3am,
the snow turns into sleep And the only thing
that's real is how cold this house can be
Every light feels fake tonight I think I'll cut the cord and
let him die No point pretending there's a sparkle left inside
She took the only real thing when she walked out on Christmas Eve
Now the holidays feel like a joke that only hurts to believe
Every light
feels fake
Tomorrow I'll unplug them all
Merry Christmas to the empty room The lights are off
And I am too
And I am too