I'm glad we're here. I think we all kind of need a laugh.
It was a little bit of an interesting week, huh?
We're all a little hungover, maybe.
We should timestamp it, because this is a live album.
This will go down in comedy history
as maybe the best comedy album of all time.
So we probably should mention that
this is the first album, our first orange president.
This is the first president of Orange Descent,
Orange Lives Matter.
We got to... Orange Lives Matter.
Was I the only one that was going from channel to channel
just hoping one of them was going to tell me
what I wanted to hear?
I'm like, ah, CNN's owned by the Nazis.
Let's keep going. What is this?
MSN, Illuminati, *...
NPR's not going to lie to me.
Whew. It's crazy.
I'm happy to be away from New York
and just a stone's throw from Canada,
because I might just keep going tomorrow.
Set up there.
Set up camp with Neil Young.
I voted. I voted, but I had a very hard time,
because I was raised...
My grandmother taught me at a young age
to always vote for the person
that you would like to be your neighbor.
And with this election,
I think I'd rather vote for the person

that I'd rather just burn my * house down,
because I don't think I want...
These are two weird people, man.
I don't know.
It's a strange neighborhood.
I feel like Hillary would have just
tooken mail out of my mailbox
and just shredded it
and denied there was ever mail.
Meanwhile, Trump's trying to bang my wife
in front of me.
Just denying it.
Just denying it the whole time
because she's too ugly for him.
Why would I do that?
She's atrocious.
What a *.
And this is no Burlington pandering bullshit.
That's why I wanted to vote for Bernie.
I was going to vote Bernie 100% all the way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't even know what he stood for.
I just... It's my grandma.
I thought he would have been an amazing neighbor.
You know?
Imagine Bernie, you walk outside,
he's just hanging solar panels
on your * roof for no reason.
He's like, oh, I put a GMO net
on your tomato plants.
We're going to go stand with the Native Americans.
Whatever, Bern.
I'm feeling it, buddy.