[Intro]
Yeah...

[Verse 1]
A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snowglobe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay

[Verse 2]
My house... is filled with this ***
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

[Chorus]
Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

[Verse 3]
I'll buy... your knick-knack
Just check... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

[Chorus]
Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tags)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

[Bridge]
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

[Verse 4]
I'll buy your tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy...)
I'm highest bidder now

[Verse 5]
Junk keeps arriving in the mail
From that worldwide garage sale
A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray
Oh yeah, I bought it on eBay

[Chorus]
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, used by Dr. Dre... hey)
(Found it on eBay)

[Chorus]
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
I'll buy on eBay

[Outro]
What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y