Draft Dodger rag.Oh, I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town.I believe in God and Senator Dodd and keepin' old Castro down.And when it came my time to serve, I knew better dead than red.But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said.Sarge, I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen and I always carry a purse.I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, my asthma's gettin' worse.Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt.Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school and I'm a-workin' in a defense plant.I got a dislocated disc and a racked up back, I'm allergic to flowers and bugs.And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits and I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.I got the weakness, woes, I can't touch my toes, I can hardly reach my knees.And if the enemy came close to me, oh, I'd probably start to sneeze.Yes, I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen and I always carry a purse.I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, my asthma's gettin' worse.Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt.Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school and I'm a-workin' in a defense plant.I hate John Locke and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see,that someone's gotta go over there and that someone isn't me.So I wish you well, Sarge, give him hell, kill me a thousand or so.And if you ever get a war without blood and gore, I'll be the first to go.Yes, I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen and I always carry a purse.I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, my asthma's gettin' worse.Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt.Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school and I'm a-workin' in a defense plant.Thank you.