And I've been on my hands and knees searching for the pills I threw
Over the back wall when I swore that I was through
And I meant it then, nah I really did But *** it doesn't really matter when you
feel like this Cold sweats got the chills feeling nauseated
Until I get that in my system I can't operate it
Fell off the wagon off the planet somewhere rough in space
When orbiting my problems they don't look so bad from here I'm staying
You keep saying that it's killing you like I don't see
Just wasting time and praying to a god I don't believe
And I just hope that you don't ever have to feel the way it feels
And I decide to use cause I hate being alone with me
And every time I keep running through this tape to the end
Like I know where this goes but pretend that it won't this time
Yeah it's different, I'm in control, I've got it handled
When I need some help I'll let you know But I don't, I just let it pull me further
south Getting faded talking dreams but never leave
the couch Never found a purpose don't know what I hope
to be But swore that I was born to be more than
some oxycontin fiend And I've been falling down 12 steps
Rehabilitated twice, it didn't stick I guess Doctors think that they can fix me up with
all those meds Maybe I just got some problems now that y'all
don't get It's like I'm wading in the ocean
Staring in the distance, I can't see where the shore is
Crossed a line but I don't know when I did And I swear I wanna quit but I don't wanna
stop I'm just dope sick
I woke up feeling hopeless I'm just dope sick
I woke up feeling hopeless And I'm in a meeting talking I ain't touched
the pills in weeks Like what's the point when I know heroin is
twice as cheap Twice as good and it'll take me down twice
as low Probably kill me twice as fast but lately I've
been feeling so bad that I welcome it Hurting me but helping and the only ***ing
people that I see are ones who sell me it I tried to give it up, I swore it off forever
But what's the point of sober if your life ain't getting better, huh?
The more that you ask, the more I withdraw, yeah
The more that I do, the worse the withdrawal's, yeah
The worse the withdrawal's, the harder to stop that
And mom asks, why the hell you ain't call back, yeah
I pawn the phone and the soul too Sick of people looking at me saying I don't
know you They keep on talking but I'm barely even hearing
them And even when I brush the teeth I don't look
in the mirror cause I can see the truth that's in the eyes
That's a window to the feelings that I keep disguised
Hard to differentiate with all the lies manufactured in my head just to keep the actions justified
It's like I'm wading in the ocean So far out that I can't see where the shore
went And I can't live like this
I swear I wanna quit, but I just can't stop, I'm sorry
I'm dope sick
Woke up feeling hopeless
I'm just dope sick
I woke up feeling hopeless
I'm just dope sick
I woke up feeling hopeless
I'm just dope sick