And I've been on my hands and knees searching for the pills I threwOver the back wall when I swore that I was throughAnd I meant it then, nah I really did But *** it doesn't really matter when youfeel like this Cold sweats got the chills feeling nauseatedUntil I get that in my system I can't operate itFell off the wagon off the planet somewhere rough in spaceWhen orbiting my problems they don't look so bad from here I'm stayingYou keep saying that it's killing you like I don't seeJust wasting time and praying to a god I don't believeAnd I just hope that you don't ever have to feel the way it feelsAnd I decide to use cause I hate being alone with meAnd every time I keep running through this tape to the endLike I know where this goes but pretend that it won't this timeYeah it's different, I'm in control, I've got it handledWhen I need some help I'll let you know But I don't, I just let it pull me furthersouth Getting faded talking dreams but never leavethe couch Never found a purpose don't know what I hopeto be But swore that I was born to be more thansome oxycontin fiend And I've been falling down 12 stepsRehabilitated twice, it didn't stick I guess Doctors think that they can fix me up withall those meds Maybe I just got some problems now that y'alldon't get It's like I'm wading in the oceanStaring in the distance, I can't see where the shore isCrossed a line but I don't know when I did And I swear I wanna quit but I don't wannastop I'm just dope sickI woke up feeling hopeless I'm just dope sickI woke up feeling hopeless And I'm in a meeting talking I ain't touchedthe pills in weeks Like what's the point when I know heroin istwice as cheap Twice as good and it'll take me down twiceas low Probably kill me twice as fast but lately I'vebeen feeling so bad that I welcome it Hurting me but helping and the only ***ingpeople that I see are ones who sell me it I tried to give it up, I swore it off foreverBut what's the point of sober if your life ain't getting better, huh?The more that you ask, the more I withdraw, yeahThe more that I do, the worse the withdrawal's, yeahThe worse the withdrawal's, the harder to stop thatAnd mom asks, why the hell you ain't call back, yeahI pawn the phone and the soul too Sick of people looking at me saying I don'tknow you They keep on talking but I'm barely even hearingthem And even when I brush the teeth I don't lookin the mirror cause I can see the truth that's in the eyesThat's a window to the feelings that I keep disguisedHard to differentiate with all the lies manufactured in my head just to keep the actions justifiedIt's like I'm wading in the ocean So far out that I can't see where the shorewent And I can't live like thisI swear I wanna quit, but I just can't stop, I'm sorryI'm dope sickWoke up feeling hopelessI'm just dope sickI woke up feeling hopelessI'm just dope sickI woke up feeling hopelessI'm just dope sick