Did you hear what happened Last Saturday nightWhile dancin' and drinkin' We all got half-tiedLast Saturday night This sweet thing named CharminWas dancin' with me When I jumped her boyfriendAnd he hollered at me Please don't squeeze my CharminDon't hold her so tight You'd best heed my warnin'It's my last one tonight She's soft and she's gentleAnd as sweet as can be And if Charmin needs squeezin'Then leave that to meAlong about midnight I was feelin' no painAnd me and Miss Charmin Were dancin' againThen Hank and Big HarlanGot into a fight And I heard someone hollerAs out went the light Please don't squeeze my CharminDon't hold her so tight You'd best heed my warnin'It's my last one tonight She's soft and she's gentleAnd as sweet as can be And if Charmin needs squeezin'Then leave that to me And if Charmin needs squeezin'Then leave that to me