I wonder, oh, why this ever had to be So many losing hope, in those dreams, that they Walking past the homeless in a Rolex Just got off the stage on the Today Show and I basically felt soulless Years go by and I keep saying I'm gonna use my phone less But I should just be flawless, ignorance is bliss And so is being underground, cause it was fun when we were known less Sorry that's cliche, I know I'm so blessed But Jason keeps on telling me, say yes And truth be told, I know he knows best But I don't wanna do no press I've seen enough of me on this little screen I've become so vain and insecure about everything I feel all this pressure to live up to what they tell me I'm gonna be So I isolate myself, you can't help me, it's on me I'm hiding any sign of weakness from my guys I don't want them second guessing with me Nemo said to keep my foot on next Cause I can't let them just forgive me But the brags in my raps are getting less and less convincing So I'd rather just I wonder, oh, why this ever had to be So many losing hope In those dreams that they I wrote that first verse in Denver Back in September, it's January now And I'm feeling like myself again I got Angel back in here, I need his help again I'm taking time away but wondering what a healthy helping is Fuck it, they gon' check for me, I tell myself and tell my friends Avoiding any talks about the elephant Chalking up that hate to jealousy and disembellishments But deep down, I find myself wondering if the people that write about me Are right about me And I wonder if my exes are oversharing Cause they know a lot about me I'm a long way from Shelby County I've been through some local tension Heard talks of a healthy bounding Sober and focused, I cannot walk down no deli hallies I still got the fellas around me I love them and tell them proudly My mama needs help adjusting My father needs help accounting I'm looking out heaven's window I know that there's hell around me I wonder why this ever had to be So many losing hope in those dreams that they