On a recent military campaign,
a bunch of soldier boys had been on a long hike and arrived
back exhausted at base.
The next day was Sunday,
and the sergeant took them to church.
As the
chaplain began his sermon,
the soldiers opened their Bibles,
but one private spread out a
deck of cards.
The sergeant told him to put them away,
and after the service arrested
the boy and took him in front of the commander-in-chief,
who asked why he had brought the man here.
I'm here for playing cards in church,
answered the sergeant.
What have you got to say for yourself, son?
I've been on the march for six long days,
and I had no Bible,
prayer book,
or diary,
but I hope to satisfy you with the purity of my intentions.
With that, the boy started his story.
When
I look at the ace,
it tells me that there is but one true God. Then I look at the two,
and I remember the twin towers in New York,
and the three is the three planes crashed
by terrorists who believed in God,
and the four horsemen of the apocalypse,
bringing death,
disease,
war,
and destruction.
The five is the number of children I killed yesterday on your order,
sir,
and the six is the number of men buggered to get confessions.
The seven
stands for the years innocent men were held in Guantanamo Bay,
and the 8,000 Hutus and
Tutsis killed in one day in Rwanda by soldiers.
The 9,000 Irish,
Bosnian,
Serbian,
and Afghanistan
deaths,
all in the name of God. The 10 commandments
being broken or ignored or used as excuses
for abuse.
The king is the false name chosen by dictators.
The queen is the spouse growing
fat and rich with corruption,
and the jack or knave is the devil who rules this world.
365 spots in a deck of cards is the number of days in a year.
52 cards the weeks, four
suits the weeks in a month.
12 picture cards are the months in a year,
13 tricks the weeks
in a quarter.
A deck of cards is my Bible,
almanac,
and morality codes,
sir.
The commander,
sergeant, and chaplain resigned from the forces.
The story is true.
I know I was that soldier.