I heard it first muffled behind the door
It was scary mostly because I didn't know what it was
I would have never thought that humans could make such sounds
It sounded like the exasperated silence of a hibernating bear
But I didn't know at the time what it was
I was curious as my fingers covered the glimmer reflected on the doorknob
From the sunlight high in the mid-afternoon
I felt compelled to turn the doorknob
And felt a mile wide in my adolescent hand as I stretched my arm out to reach it
The door wasn't locked as it swung open outwardly and easily wide into the bedroom
I didn't know what to look at at first
I couldn't focus
My eyes went to the strange dark-skinned man
Shiny as if he was bathed in oil
But this was sweat
I remember he was bald-headed and broad-shouldered
The man's skin was absent of light and stark contrast to hers
They looked like the
A shadow wrestling a bulb
A star swallowing the sun
The only time I went fishing was when I went to sick away camp
I remember we dug into the ground for bait
We didn't have a shovel so I used my hands
I remember that I burrowed into the ground and saw these worms
Bunched up against each other like they couldn't move
But they kept squirming and shifting against themselves
They were moving but couldn't move
On the bed in my parents' room, that's what they reminded me of
Worms squirming, human worms squirming
The bed was their dirt
And they were slithering against each other, slippery in their sweat
They were naked
The man was on top of her, moving his hips like a wind-up toy
And she was screaming like he was hurting her
And she needed my help
The daylight revealed itself to me
If it wasn't for that day, but
Who calls my dad to me?
On that day, your hatred swelled in me
In the Decapolis
Out in the leaves
On that day, your hatred swelled in me
If it wasn't for that day, but
Who calls my dad to me?
I couldn't understand what it was that I was witnessing in my parents' bedroom
They both had their eyes closed, unaware and absorbed, willfully submitting to something
I don't know, a position I was too young to battle
The commotion that they made is dead vainly as the wall tested the bed frame's endurance
The woman underneath this strange, dark man was the only one I recognized
She had given birth to me
This woman was my mother
When they noticed me, he looked up first and stopped wiggling
When she noticed me, she was angry
Lewis, get the * out of here and close the * door
It happened so fast, startled, I did what I was told and shut the door
I didn't know what to make of what happened
Halfway down the hallway, I was leaving the bedroom
I heard a soft whimpering to my left
I was wondering where he was while all this was happening
Again, I stood in the doorway, but this time the door was open
He was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, crying
He looked up at me
Who's that man with mommy? I asked
It was as if Disney sprinkled fairy dust over a scrotumless plush toy
That weeks went and squeezed and then called his doll Benjamin
Or as he's better known in my house as Dear Old Dad
He got up from the bed, walking past me
He almost knocked me down as he headed towards the stairs and out the front door
He never looked back after I shouted his name
He took nothing and never came back
This was the last time I saw my father
He revealed himself to me
If it wasn't for that day, but who calls my dad to me?
On that day, your hatred swelled in me
In the Decapital, I'm in the lead
In the Decapital, I'm in the lead