[Verse 1: Professor Green]

I want me a Vegas girl

I don't like the song but I'd love me a Vegas girl

How do I have the audacity to say this?

I'm a little bit of a sadist, girl

I say this, I say that

Whatever I say, I never take back

I've got no respect

Ask Dream Mclean and his enormous head

I ain't got the heart to care

Ask him how long he spends in the barbers' chair

I wouldn't wanna be your barber

Picture me on a sheep in a baa baa

I'm Green like a frog and I ribbet

No, I've not lost it, I'm just being silly

Really need a dump and I'm going on Millie

I don't mean I'm going on Millie

How much longer could ya go?

My mind can only be described as unhealthy

No, I wasn't made in Chelsea

I'm just living there and lowering the tone [Hook: James Craise]

I wear them dead man's shoes

I wear them dead man's shoes

I wear them dead man's shoes

I wear them dead man's shoes [Verse 2: Professor Green]

I've had an idea, who knows how

We can raise the national IQ? I do

Take every member of every reality TV show

For a little trip on a ship and then sink the boat

Thank God Millie quit the show, I'm unbiased

It's simple, Millie would've been on the ship too

A *** to anybody and everybody

There ain't a woman alive that I wouldn't have been a dick to

But you came into my life

And now everything's so sweet

I found my perfect match in a woman

Who gives more hugs than me, Millie

Me and my bird are barmy

Two peas in a pod, edamame

Couldn't care less what the whole world thinks of me

As long as the in-laws think I'm charming, darling [Hook: James Craise] [Verse 3: Professor Green]

In a couple of years, I'll be speaking posh

"He ain't hood anymore, he's a toff"

Picture hearing me speaking in a posh accent

Like "come hither now, clean my car"?

"What did you say, young man?"

"Is this the way young people behave nowadays, young man?"

That was when she hit me with her walking stick and said

"That ought to teach you for talking ***"

I don't even know who she was, this is what the weed does

Millie, I'm gonna be with you forever

Only till the day that we divorce and I get taken to the cleaners

Probably for getting caught fondling the cleaner

It's never gonna happen!

She's 68!

She has had four children!

It would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway! [Hook: James Craise] [Outro: Professor Green]

I wear them, I wear them

Them dead man's shoes, I wear them

I wear them, I wear them

Them dead man's shoes, I wear them

Dead man's shoes, I wear them

Dead man's shoes, I wear them

I wear them, I wear them

Them dead man's shoes, I wear them