When I was eight years old

Before puberty took hold

I thought I'd end up beside a princess bride

And love was indivisible Never mind how my taste reflects

A disturbing oedipal complex

It's not awkward, girl

The compliments are coming next You're no witch, you're no wench

You're like Bjork with better fashion sense

So I phone 50 Cents

And I'm building up my confidence Respect to your work

You're an artist, I'm a silly jerk

I think that dynamic could work

So work it I have a total crush on you, baby

And I can't let it go, oh no

I have a total crush on you, baby

Baby, if only I could let you know When we spoke, no joke

I started shedding slutty girls like snakeskin

My collection acquired

Through shallow misdirection And as I drive tonight

The West Coast sky daring me to try

I feel alive tonight

The possibility that I'm your guy Though I suffer from dyslexia

And mild manorexia

My hair cannot commit

To one popular genre of music And though they all claim

That a girl can't take her boy's last name

Or end up divorced and estranged

I'm counting on you I have a total crush on you, baby

And I can't let it go, oh no

I have a total crush on you, baby

Baby, if only I could let you know Your other suitors are no poets

They're only actors who can play guitar

Have I won your heart? They're not students or screenwriters

They're only models that they taught to read

Love, would you agree?

And it's oh so sweet I have a total crush on you, baby

And I can't let it go, oh no

I have a total crush on you, baby

Baby, if only I could let you know I'm quite sure you love me, Sherri

I'm quite sure I love you too

We should make a verbal agreement

To only kiss each other Because one time beneath the sky

Outside my New York pigsty

I saw a vision of you and I, alright Did it hurt? Did it hurt?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?

Did it hurt? Did it hurt?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl? Did it hurt? Did it hurt?