Always been the one they laugh at I don't wanna stay here, stay here Screw these pointless conversations, ay Always been the one they laugh at This party wasn't what I thought I don't wanna take these shots Wish I never bought this ice cream cake Teach me a song when I don't know yet Leave me footprints all the way to Christmas I've always been a little different, hard to understand My life go constantly down paths that I can never plan Had to leave the party early, couldn't stop me, pushed through Side effect of always dreaming I might never land Lonely road, I walk alone with all my demons now I wish I had more control, I don't mean to shout Into the darkness tryna find who I used to be But as I stare up at the stars, can't remember now I see that red spot, yeah, getting bigger on my shirt Sitting still inside my fridge, cause my soul is feeling burnt I'm the worst by the bursts and the tears Haven't been a model or the church in my years What's my name, what's my purpose More I find, the more I'm on Satan Fruit tastes bad, snakes in their braces Handful of seeds that I'll cast to the ravens I guess I've been going through ***, going through *** Problems hit me on my two lips, this is useless Lately everything get heavy and it drag down Even though I wanna leave, would you stay around Swear I'm trying not to hold back, but I hold back Only one I trust, you know that, hope you know that Wishing I'll be in your arms if I wake up You're the shield and my armor when pain comes Don't fall for me Fall for me flawlessly falling in a place Running to their death while they treat it like a race Waiting for the sun to come back, hope I'm ready It's heavy, my breath and my legs feel like jelly Tell me swim along and sing to the sun Tell me swim along and sing to the sun You can lie, find me all that you want It's the fools that be running the time Reach me somewhere I don't know yet Leave me for a breeze All the way to Christmas Sick of waking up late, it's almost noon already I haven't been feeling myself, trying to change the settings Trying to change how I live, I'm turning into a swine Call of Duty and movies taking up most of my time I should go and see my brother more He misses telling all his friends about our pillow fights I moved out on my own about a year ago Feels like we're friends but I used to be his hero What's that noise? Must be a ghost Holy Spirit take me, I'm making new hoes Reach me somewhere I don't know yet Leave me for a breeze All the way to Christmas