But you don't have to believe me.
I do my lectures and seminars all over North America,
and people go out of their way to send feedback
about what a great experience they had being around me.
This one guy compared his life to a broken-down house,
and he said I was this big hammer
that helped him refix up his house.
What he said was,
this guy's a big tool.
You're welcome.
They go out of their way to send me this feedback.
Here's another one.
You've proven to me that anyone could do anything
no matter what little talent they have.
Run with that.
I want those two hours back.
They can't get enough of me.
This one's great.
My lawyers will be contacting you.
I smell a movie deal.
I'm not a doctor.
I don't pretend to be a doctor,
but I've helped people with their ailments.
Somebody wrote in and said,
you've cured my insomnia.
I don't know what it is either.
This one's great.
It was like listening to a fax machine,
because that's what I am.
I'm a machine full of facts,
and that's how...
I'm able to motivate people as one fact at a time.
And here's a freebie.
You guys might want to jot this down.
It's a great way to start your day at home,
or you bring it in the office
and put it on a sticky on your computer.
You've probably heard part of this before.
It takes 26 muscles to frown at somebody,
but only six.
It only takes six muscles
to text them a colon with a frowny face.
Thank you.
I don't see anybody writing that down.
Here's another interesting fact I read online the other day.
One fifth of the world is Chinese.
I was speechless too,
because that's almost 20%.
So, look where you're sitting.
All right, if the two people next to you aren't Chinese,
and the people in front and behind you aren't Chinese,
guess what, Yao Ming?
You're not Chinese.








You're mathematically Chinese.
Ni hao.
Zai jian.
I'm not Chinese,
and I'm kind of opposed right now,
and it's not just because of what they're doing
to the people in Tibet, all right?
It's the whole...
It's the whole Chinese New Year scam,
which I disagree with.
You know what I discovered this year?
There's the global warming hoax
that they invented.
Yeah.
Yeah, they say, well, what happens
when it gets really hot or really cold?
You get an air conditioner,
or you get a space heater,
which are built in China, all right?
So it totally makes sense.
Same thing with the gluten thing.
Gluten wasn't a thing 15 years ago.
Now, according to China,
oh, if you eat too much wheat,
you're going to get sick,
follow the money.