[LL Cool J] Yeah.. Yeah I like that guitar man, yeah Yo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar man Knahmsayin? It was a good idea man, knahmsayin? Yeah It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin? I wanna get hype man, I wanna do this, yaknahmsayin? Just gon' chill, check it out Slick as Vasoline, smell good as cologne

I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone

I rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy Olson

I break you like a bottle of green Golden Molson

You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress

How you gon' sleep on me ho's, do I look like a mattress?

Am I that old, do I walk like Grady?

I'ma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80

Don't you EVER try to rock my house

I'm a real cool cat, know what I'm sayin Mickey Mouse?

The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this

Now think about it -- can you really come close to this?

You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler

Ugly as work shoes, messin with the Ruler:

the ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer

I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer [Chorus: LL Cool J]

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

[LL Cool J] And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) You end up, underneath my sneaker

You're dog doo-doo, I'm watchin you get weaker

You can't believe, the skill and dexterity

LL Cool J, and the J is for Jeremy

So BUFF ME, James Todd the earthquaker

That's right my brother, you're goin out like Seka

Screwed, chewed, so whassup dude?

One of my ballads'll get your girlies in the mood

Sucker MC's really make me sick

I'm so bad, I can suck my own {dick}

If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already

Don't go Crazy cause my name ain't Eddie

Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry

When Einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout ME

The Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birth

to a rhyme so hard you look soft as a Smurf

Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out?

LOVELY, and that's without a doubt!

[Chorus 3/4X] [LL Cool J]

Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor

When I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature

and cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers

Not the ones on the table, I'm talkin about RUFF rovers

You can't get over -- what's my name, Goofy?

You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys

and take a pull, cause the buck stops here

I get swift as a magician, wreck {***} and dissapear

Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty

to the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royalty

And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle

paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle

to shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet

I'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY IT

The Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athletic

Before you play your hand you better do some calisthenics

Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine

Speak your piece, then I'ma go for mine

And I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike again

I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in

Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten

I ain't Sidney Poitier but we can 'Do This Again'

I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit it

You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it! [Chorus 1/2] [LL Cool J]

But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand

Here's a little sample -- *AHEM*, my man (BRRRRRRRING) "Hello?" [cut n scratch "Cool J"] ".. takes everything you've got" -> [Cheers (theme song)]

[cut n scratch "pushin a broom"] ".. sure would help a lot" -> [Cheers (theme song)] [LL Cool J]

Check my stats, how we livin, I thought so

I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no

My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point

I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint

I eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slow

My voice is milky with a nice clear flow

I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo

I'm not a ballplayer, so NOW Y'KNOW! Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) cause I rock the house, everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

KnowhatI'msayin? And I'ma be straight til the year 3000 That's word to mother, knahmsayin?

And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory yaknahmsayin?

Cause I'm the victor in this game, word up Knahmsayin?

That's what time it is, peace

[crew applause] That man, he sure is FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY!

Funky, he sho' is! You best believe he's FUNKY! You didn't KNOW??? FUNKY!