Once I got a splinter in the joint of my little toe
And a garter snake bit my knee by the bend of the little St. Joe
Honey, that's Missouri, the land of the dust and the tow
Wonderful town, chicken row
Once I had a scorpion on the lobe of my good right ear
And a great, great grandma
Who could hear what she wanted to hear
Honey, that's Missouri, the land where the sky overflowed
Wonderful town, chicken row
Beasts of burden nipped at their hay
And a garter snake bit my knee by the bend of the little St. Joe
And a pool room banjo played
The end to each day
Night so quiet you could hear a mouse
Dipping through the parlor of a boarding house
Once I got a scorpion in the joint of my little toe
And a garter snake bit my knee by the bend of the little St. Joe

And a sunburn on the back of my itching neck
Took a ride with a girl in a Model T
And died in a wonderful wreck
Honey, that's Missouri, the land that the Lord never know
Wonderful town, chicken row