Hey, guess who I
Hey, listen up you guys
Hey, guess who I
Ran into only just the other day
Who, who was it?
Charlie, Charlie who?
Big Potatoes, Charlie Big Potatoes
Charlie Big Potatoes
You remember him?
And how
Everybody used to say
Here comes Charlie
Couldn't give a damn
May as well be hung
For a sheep as a lamb
Hey there Charlie
What you gonna do?
Bet you gonna call him
Mr. Barry Lou
Charlie is a gas
He's a real cool cat
You can ask him anything
And he'll tell you where he's at
Telephones, politics
Anything at all
Charlie holds the record
For the highest up the wall
Yeah
Yeah?
What'd he say?
What'd he say?
Well hold on
He didn't say nothing
He was just sitting all alone
In this low light bar
I said hey
Hey Charlie
Hey
How's it hanging?
He looked to me like
He'd seen better days
Who?
Charlie
You talking about Charlie?
Charlie
Charlie
Charlie Big Potatoes
Charlie Big Potatoes
Charlie Big Potatoes
Charlie Big Potatoes
Do you remember him?
Sure do
How he used to get around?
Here comes Charlie
Look at him go
And he's why we'll pick up
With the stereo
Hey there Charlie
Who you gonna see?
Bet you gonna call him
Mr. Rosemary
Charlie is a gas
He's a real cool cat
You can ask him anything
And he'll tell you where he's at
Cabbage, white, butterflies
Anything at all
Charlie holds the record
For the highest up the wall
Yeah
Well that's Charlie
He's just one
One hell of a guy.
One hell of a guy.
Hell of a guy.
I said, hey, Charlie, you look like you've been rode hard and put away wet.
He looked up to me from his half-empty glass of beer and said, you talking to me, man?
I said, yeah, man, I'm talking to you.
So we had this kind of man-to-man talk, like, talking man-to-man.
Mano, a mano.
Shut the * up.
You shut the * up.
No, you shut the * up.
* you, you *.
I shut the * up last time.
Who gives a * about who the * shut the * up last time?
Well, maybe the * gives a * about who the * shuts the * up.
I guess you know the kind of thing by now.
Who the hell are you talking about?
I'm talking about Charlie.
Charlie who?
Big Potato.
Charlie Big Potato?
Charlie Big Potato.
But he's one hell of a guy.
Well, not anymore.
Why?
Seems he tried to pull this drop-dead gorgeous catwalk chick with that old line.
You know what would look good on you?
And she says, what?
And he says, me.
You know the one?
Yeah, you know the one.
What happened?
Well, this beautiful babe takes her time.
And...
She kind of looks him up and down.
And then she finally says, what'd she say?
Not even for practice.
Wow.
Well, she was from Australia.
Kind of eucalyptus-ly Chardonnay, if you know what I mean.
We know what you mean.
Still, it's a hell of a shame about poor old Charlie.
He was really tore up that time.
Really tore him up.
Hell of a guy.
One hell of a guy.
Hell of a guy.
Hell of a guy.
Hell of a guy.
Hell of a guy.

Hee-hee!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
A cautionary tale there.
What can happen in the dating game.
Are there any heterosexuals in the audience tonight?
Are there any heterosexuals in the audience?
Well, you know, how do we put up with it?
Why is it that the male and the female of the species are so designed
as to extract the maximum frustration from one another with the minimum effort?
And why is it that women always generalize and men don't?
I'll never understand.