Andy:
Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next, will blow your mind

Julian:
Everything got outta control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing

Andy:
Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around their necks are like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table there's a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you want to puke in the sink
These dudes will never dance, yeah that's what you think
I stride in the room all young and hip
Hold up my boombox and say listen to this

Julian:
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced instead of financing
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By these super old white people dancing

Andy:
The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice
The street benders peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people will never get along
Till I bust out my boombox and play this song

Julian:
The music washed away all the hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing
Whoa !
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Whoaaaaaoaaaaaoh !
I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman

Andy:

Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing, there's no excuse
Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose
So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo base
And what happened next was a total disgrace

Julian:
Everybody started having ***
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people *ing like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least
Oh!
A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy