I took her with me

To the Christmas office party, mistake

She did a line and started

Spouting all her liberal garbage

Bro, I'm so ashamed I never heard such *** in all my life

I hoped one day to mold you

Into the perfect wife

But you blew my hopes sky high The bitch went nutz

Started talking about politics

In front of all my bosses

Bull*** from the Internet The bitch went nutz

I'll never be a partner at this rate

Not with Jane *** Fonda Jr as my date

Oh no, oh no, no, oh It took me and a couple of men to restrain her

You should've seen her

When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr's

Brand new Beamer She called us biggets with her fist in the air

And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair

Now they think that I'm a *** *** The bitch went nutz

Started talking about vegetables

To the wives of all my coworkers

Yeah, cruelty to animals She thinks because she reads books

She must be smarter

But now when I close my eyes

I'll be *** Jimmy Carter

Oh no, oh no, no, oh no, no Couldn't you have just nodded and smile

From nine to twelve pm

Instead of telling your conspiracy theories

To all my bosses and all my friends? The bitch went nutz

Started putting down the Christians

And all about what the white man

Did to the Indians How could I know that she never done blow before?

She shouted, *** Dick Cheney

And then she puked on the Franklin's floor

Oh no, oh no, oh no, no

Oh no, no, oh no, oh right