She weighed 300 pounds, stood 5'5", she had an odor more dead than aliveBlack greasy hair on her dimpled chin and her big belly rumbled like a lion's den, Big FannyNo one knew who was Fanny's daddy, she turned up one day in Mavis' grillJust looking stupid and standing stiff, and even the dogs refused to sniff Big FannySome say she came from around L.A. where she got in a fight with some hippies one dayShe blowed her garlic breath in those hippies' faceAnd they dropped like flies all over the place, Big FannyThe judge finally put Big Fanny in jail, gave her 30 days and wouldn't set no bailShe gave a mighty bell, she struck a match, and the gas blowed a hole through that booby hatch, Big FannyBig Fanny was up in the mountains one night, fighting a bear in the soft moonlightThe bear struck a gun in Fanny's eye, and all them truckersSaid goodbye to Big FannyBut Fanny got tired of playing with that bear and grabbed two handfuls of his mangy hairShe gave a karate chop, a judo roll, and knocked that trooper plumb out cold, Big FannyBig Fanny hung around for a couple of years, smoking cigar butts and mooching beersAnd then one morning Fanny disappeared, back to the hills, unbearable, Big FannyUp in the hills north of L.A., there's trees growing with signs that sayAll you bears be careful, pal, somewhere in them hills there's a big bad gal, Big FannyBig FannyBig Fanny