They asked me to make some coffee, and they said the coffee was the best they've ever had,and nobody after that was allowed to make coffee or even go anywhere in the kitchen,so they were really nice to me.But I had to stop working there because it's none of your business.But now I've got this strange fascination.I'm addicted to office supplies.I love them.At the end of last summer, I was at the big office supply place,and I'm checking out the staplers because Swingline's got a new model, the 646.It's a little modular desktop thing.But then for the copy room, there's this big Bates 224 XHD extra heavy-duty power arm.That thing's a revelation, all right?It's got a breech load in the back.You can stick in two clips of the extra-long chisel points,which are really good for cordiality.And then there's this lock-back feature if you need to staple onto something else,like if you're putting up a Bradley Cooper poster on the inside of your cubiclebecause sometimes maybe you get lost in his eyes.And then there's a little twirly plate in the front that spins aroundso the staples know whether to come out curled in or splayed out.And I'm checking it out, and then my daughter goes,Dad, Dad, they have left-handed scissors for me.And I'm like, oh, yeah, right, the kid.We're supposed to be shopping for school supplies.And so I put down the Bates 224 XHD extra heavy-duty power arm.And she's on the school side.I'm on the office side where they have office furnitureand the little fridges that you could hide under your deskand then the motivational sayings that are etched onto rocks.So there's a bunch of the rocks that say,don't talk to me till I've had my coffee,or you're going to crush it.Or work isn't what you should do or what you plan to do.Work is what you do do.And so there's...But she's on the...She takes me over to the scissors pavilion.It's like scissors as far as the eye can seebecause of the back wall, which is non-see-throughable.And...And she's...And she's...She's a bunch of stuff.But one of them is left-handed.She's left-handed.And she says, Dad, they've got these left-handed scissors.And there's like four or five pairs out of all of these.And she says, and the others don't say they're for anybody.So nobody gets those.So I'm the only one who gets scissors.And I said, well, it doesn't...It really doesn't work that way.You might want to sit down for this, all right?These are all right-handed scissors.And they've always been right-handed scissors.And it's been like that for so longthat they don't even bother to put right-handed on them.You're lucky to get left-handed scissors.The country's only like 10% left-handed.The country was built by and designedfor right-handed people.It's called right privilege.And...A lot...A lot of right-handed people, for nothing they've done,just the quirk of how they were born,have certain advantages that makes things easier for them.And everything's designed to make it easierfor right-handed people.Like the buttons on the elevators and apps and fishing rodsand pencil sharpeners and mugsand the writing on pens and voting machinesand all of this stuff.And then she's...Yeah, and they're even right supremacists.And if they saw...If they saw your left-handed scissors,they'd get really mad and say,why does she get something special and different?Everyone should be the same.Everyone should be like us, right-handed.And she goes, yeah, I know.Because in Africa, at the orphanage where I grew up,in Africa,they made us color and draw with our right hands.And you remember that I'm from Africaand that I'm black, Dad, right?And I said, yes, obviously.But the audience hasn't figured that out yet.And...And that's not what I'm talking about at all.I'm talking about how you're left-handed,a person of left.And when...When you're a professional communicator,of which being good at,I am one of them guys.I share my great ideas with people.And a lot of times,my great ideas are so high over people's heads,I'll actually see them roll their eyes upwardto try to see my thoughts as they...escape beyond...Yeah.The grasp of understanding.And so she's rolling her eyes.And I said, don't roll your eyes.Let's finish.We've got your scissors.What's left?There's only one thing left on the list.Paper, all right, we'll get the...Oh, it's white paper.And she said, oh, Dad,that's fine.Don't worry, Dad.Left-handed scissors cuts white paper.And then I said, yeah,but motivational rockthat says you're gonna crush thiscrushes scissors.Another unearned victoryfor right privilege.I know.I know it says that we're all created equal,but I mean, come on.It's not the bill of lefts, all right?It's the bill of rights.It's the bill of rights.