I want to just speak for a second in case you all seem pretty smart.
You probably already know this statistic.
If you didn't know this, you're going to want to remember this number.
The number of trans people who have attacked or assaulted in any way
a non-trans person in the restroom is * zero.
Zero.
It's never happened.
Never.
So I just want to say that that's, but it's weird.
Like, it's still, like, the place that I'm afraid that I'm going to be found out.
You know, I go in there, I beeline to the stall.
I'm afraid, like, my pee stream is wider than his pee stream.
Like, can they * tell? I don't know.
Like, I'm just rocking back and forth going, I've got a secret.
And I think, what would I do if I was found out
and they wanted to, like, hurt me, beat me up or some * in the bathroom?
Like, what would I do?
I'd be like, you wouldn't want to hit a dude with a vagina, would you?
And then I'd run.
Hopefully confusing.
Confusing them long enough to get the * out of there.
But it is, it's one of those things, it's like,
that's the place where I'm still uncomfortable.
And I'm also uncomfortable in the men's room because it's * disgusting.
People ask me, which is better, which is worse?
Men's room, it's so much worse.
It's the thing that makes me wish that I was still a chick.
I miss the ladies' room, I do.
I don't miss women going, you're in the wrong room.
I don't miss that *.
But even though I had giant * chest,
it was, like, impeding their view.
So, I remember the last time I used the ladies' room.
I had the girls with me, so I could visibly, still, rightfully,
sort of go into the ladies' room.
And I had to go to the, I was at a costume party.
I was at a costume party and I had to go to the bathroom.
So I stepped into the line with my friend.
There was snaking out of the ladies' room.
And there was a woman in the ladies' room,
screaming in the powder's room that there was a man in the restroom.
I knew she was talking about me.
I knew she was, you know, targeting me.
And, because I was the most masculine one in line.
And so, I was like, God, what is her problem?
I said to my friend, and she said, I don't know,
maybe she thinks it's a safety issue.
And I'm like, like, I'm gonna attack her?
Like, I'm gonna wait 30 people in line to attack you?
29 more people, bitch, and your ass is mine.
So, you know, so I think the men's room is so much, so much worse.
It's so gross.
Like, I don't know what it is you guys are eating.
But, uh, no, seriously, what are you eating?
Because...
I've heard guys crying and shitting in stalls next to me.
Like, you can hear them sweating.
Just the splattering on the toilet, and just...
What the *, dude?
It's so gross.
Women are not like that in the ladies' room.
I miss the ladies' room.
It was so, they're so nice and polite.
Ladies most often will not do number two in public restroom.
No, they won't.
They'll wait till they get home.
Yeah, yeah.
No, they will.
They wait till they get home.
And you will never hear a drop of urine hit the bowl.
They're like piss ninjas.
I'm serious.
You, it's amazing.
I miss it.