In a little church on the village green I vowed my life awayFollowed by a little gathering For those who wish to stayEveryone who came brought us something good To build our happy homeBut a certain something caught my eye It stood out on its ownOn its ownAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisNot too late, not too soon Press it in the middle, it'll play a tuneAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisWe got a clod from Van Gogh, we'll vow for us But Auntie Alice brought us thisWhen the vicar stood up for his speech There was not one eye on himEverybody waiting anxiously For Auntie to come inAnd my pretty wife, who was full of strife She said it wasn't fairCause the wedding day was runner-up To that thing over thereOver thereAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisNot too late, not too soon Press it in the middle, it'll play a tuneAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisWe got a clod from Van Gogh, we'll vow for us But Auntie Alice brought us thisWhen we left the town on our honeymoon To an island far awayEverything was good and I felt we could Have stayed and stayed and stayedWalking in the sand, swimming in the sea Or dancing in the sunBut when the evening came there were better ways Of joining in the fun, in the funAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisNot too late, not too soon Press it in the middle, it'll play a tuneAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us thisWe got a clod from Van Gogh, we'll vow for us But Auntie Alice brought us thisAuntie Alice brought us this Auntie Alice brought us this