Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out This is how we conceptualize human beings Monty is a man now I think I'm old enough to understand now Drinking parmesan with her hat turned backwards Motorola pager off white guest jacket Blue air maxes gold chains and curl kits 93 nissan wax job the earliest Big social big personality vocal Played the underground verbatim at state local Monty is a man now I watch him and his girl hold their hands down Tipping the avenues under streetlights made his Thinking I want me a backpack when I get big They hug on the corner like California came cold Hand all of her skirt cords whistling down the roads See Monty is a man now Slight bravado Scratching the likes from Lotto Hoping that she pull up tomorrow So I can hang out in the front seat Six by nines keeping the music up under me Monty is a man now I asked my mama why my uncles don't like him that much And at the parties why they always want to fight him that much She said ain't no telling He's always been jealous because he had more women More money and more attention made more envy Calling him anything but broke was less offending Monty is a man now I think I'm old enough to understand now Drinking parmesan with her hat turned backwards Back when it was comedic relief to say We ain't know no better Elementary kids with no filter However Monty became a man and I took pride in it She wasn't gay she ate me and that was the difference That's what I told my friends in second grade She picking me up from school They stare at her in the face They couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomed We pull off bumping quick like it was nothing Monty is a man now What a relationship I grew up fast I needed no one to babysit He gave me some cash then gave me some gang Sherry freshener on the dash I never complained She even cut my hair at the pad What's left of my fade The first person I seen write a rap That's when my life had changed House full of demo Smoke stuck on the window Cameras on the microphone All women and men know Monty was a man now We cool with it The history had trickled down It made us ignorant My favorite cousin said He's returning the favor And following my auntie with the same behavior Demetrius is Marianne now He's more confident to live as planned now But the family in disbelief this time Convincing themselves he ain't living discreet He's fine They said they never seen it in him But I seen it The Barbie dolls played off reflection of Venus He built a wall so tall you couldn't climb over He didn't laugh as hard when the kids start joking We ain't know no better Middle school kids with no filter However I had to be very mindful of my good cousin I knew exactly who he was But I still loved him Demetrius is Marianne now I mean he's really Marianne Even took things further Changed his gender before Bruce Jenner was certain Living his truth even if it meant see a surgeon We didn't talk for a while He seemed more distant Wasn't comfortable around me Everything was offensive But I recall We both had a sick sense of humor made raw But time changes all Demetrius is Marianne now Remember church Easter Sunday I said in the pew you had stronger faith More spiritual and enthused with living life straight Which I found ironic cause the pastor didn't see him the same He said my cousin was going through some things He promised the world we live in then was an act on abomination And Demetrius was to blame I knew he was conflicted by the feelings of preaching man Wondering if God still call you a decent man Still you found the courage to be subservient just to anoint Until he singled you out to prove his point Saying Demetrius is Marianne now Church is auntie is a man now It hurt you the most cause your belief was close to his words Forcing me to stand out I said Mr. Preacher man should we love thy neighbor The laws of the land of the heart was greater I recognized the study she was taught since birth But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved The builder was thinking out loud Bad angel that's when you looked at me and smiled Said thank you the day I chose humanity over religion The family got closer it was all forgiven I said them F-bombs I ain't know any better Mistakenly I ain't think that you know any different See I was taught words was nothing more than a sound If ever they was pronounced without any intentions That very second you challenged the **** was kicking Reminded me about a show I did out the city That time I broke a fan known stage to rap But disapproved a word that she couldn't say with me You said Kendrick ain't no room for contradiction To truly understand love switch position We can say it together But only if you let a white girl say