Last night I stumbled into a boy roomI met a girl with a pint in her purseShe was cute as two speckled puppiesAnd I said, man, you could do worseSo I walked across the room for a tableI walked across her table tooAnd I plopped myself down in a chairI said, hi thereShe whisperedMyMyMy name is MabelAnd all I could say was, hi thereI said, permit me to introduce myselfHas it been colder here?And she said, it ain't been no colder hereThan it has anyplace elseI had her almostPersuadedWhat happened to Julie, dude?To slipstrip herselfOff her prideAlmostPersuadedTo slip meOver the top of my headWith a little drinkOn the sideAnd then we dancedAnd we dancedAnd we dancedAnd we dancedAnd as I thought we were dancingOh, somebody stepped on my handAnd then I looked into her eyesAnd I saw itAnd I saw itThe reflectionOf my wedding bandAnd I thought, that sure is strangeBecause I'm not even marriedWhat it was is my wristwatchI had her almostPersuadedOnce more there, HargisThank youTo come and be my ownSmarty-oinkBoyAnd then her boyfriend came and made me go homeI always dreamedIt was all a straight-up palaceI wouldn't give a *Say it, know