What a shock to wake up old
What idiot said these years are solid gold
My bones make strange noises
My mind can't remember
If it's a cold snap in May
Or a warm day in December
What happened to the girl I used to be
She used to run, she used to ski
When I think of doing those things now
I think about it just a little more sensibly
Oh, the daredevil isn't totally gone
She's still there
She's just trying to figure out
How many of her injuries
Would be covered by Medicare
I've told myself and others
That age is a state of mind
It depends on how you feel
But today I feel older than Methuselah
And age is very real
Yesterday I wore high heels all day
Today they're in the trash
Thank God they say it's stylish now
To wear long skirts and flats
The most important thing
Most exercise I get
Is climbing back into bed each day
Out of which I slide
From being lathered from head to toe
With all those creams I diligently apply
And it's hard on the nerves
To wake each morning
In total despair
And I look in the mirror
And I find those lines are still there
People my age say
You wouldn't want to be young again
Just look at me
Looking at them
You know I would
You bet I would
I would if I only could
I'd relive all those years
And I'd take it real slow
Because too soon youth is old
Or youth is gone
And you wake up old
But I've had a good life
And more to come I pray
And starting this moment
I'll cherish each and every day
I'll appreciate each season
Though quickly they come
And be quick to say I love you
To friends and loved ones
I would like to say
I'll eat only foods that are good for me
Well that's going a little far
Baskin Robbins is right down the street
And there's gas in the car
No I can't run
But I can walk
And thanks to God I can see
And I can talk
Youth is still there in my heart
And in my mind
Oh Lord I wish there weren't
So many stairs to climb
That exercise bicycle
I wish would disappear
And in its place a vibrating
Lullaby
Easy chair
I've used all the Bengay
And my muscles still hurt
To heck with the vacuuming
What's wrong with a little dirt
Now I've been thinking about
This process of aging
And all the positive things
I've been told
But I have a question
How come all these articles
Are written by someone 25 years old
I've cancelled my subscription to Cosmo
And subscribed to AARP
And more of the latter's
More of the articles in the latter
Now seem to apply to me
I hadn't meant to write a book
And I don't want anyone to get depressed
But at least mine would have some humor
And that's more than I can say for the rest
Yes there's a lot of drawbacks
To growing old
But considering the alternative
It isn't bad
And I've had all these years
To store up memories
And for that I'm thankful
And I'm glad
I have one more statement
Oh yes I do
And with this
To have to look into a magnifying mirror
To put on makeup
Is the living lousy pits
My sentiments and I'll stick to it