I said I'd only have a few
Once again I'm letting myself down
Surviving off these toxic fumes
I'll cross the line until I drown
Desperate for release
Nothing has to get to it consciously
Perfection that I see
Impossible to reach
No matter what I choose
I'm so afraid to lose
What to lose
Denial and fear

As a shield
Don't want none of this * revealed
I keep it sealed
It's gone too far now
Will I ever be the same?
The aftertaste is so sad
I'm the only one to blame
The curtains have been closed for days
I can't tell if it's day or night
I'm running out of clever ways
To keep faking that I'm fine
Talk my head under the sheets
Hoping that no one remembers me
And pain


A feigned chance to hide
Running wild and waiting for me outside
Menopause
I was scared
I'm memory

But they let me say again
They were all lying
They thought we were friendly
But they didn't
I'm over password
No matter who it is
Never meant it

Now the feeling I used to let it be
It's gone too far now
Will I ever be the same?
The aftertaste is so sour
I'm the only one to blame
It's gone too far now
I hope it's not too late
I need a wall somewhere
Is it possible today?
It's gone too far now
Is it possible today?
Will I ever be the same?
The aftertaste is so sour
I'm the only one to blame
It's gone too far now
I hope it's not too late
Will I ever be the same?
The aftertaste is so sour
I'm the only one to blame
It's gone too far now