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A Plate Full of Wheatened Trowels

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Lời bài hát: A Plate Full of Wheatened Trowels

Lời đăng bởi: 86_15635588878_1671185229650

I flew to England yesterday, and it was true the first time I told it, okay, and I'm trying to be in the moment to make this story a little bit better for you guys, so listen up, okay?I flew to England, and traffic was crazy, of course, and the weather, very bleak and cold, and the lines at the museum is really long, and the locals are a little kind of standoffish, and the food is famously bad, but I had, other than that, I had a pretty good time, except for the things that I could experience through my senses.At one time, England had the biggest empire in the world.They used to say the sun never sets on the British Empire, and now it's just like, oh, night-night, because now it's just, they're just back down to the, and the rumor, which may or may not be true, I call it a trumer, the trumer is they were so busy conquering the world that they never learned how to cook, because they would just take over the cuisines of all the other countries.And it's...It's...It's true, I went there, and here's a little secret of cooking, if you want something to be better, you add something better to it, I mean, it's obvious, you know, chocolate cake, how do you make it better? Chocolate frosting, all right?There are some people, hamburger, bacon, all right?It's very simple, in England, they put vinegar on the food to make the food taste better, to just give you an idea of what...Yeah, vinegar, the same vinegar you use to get the hard water deposits off of the tub, tastes better.Tastes better than the food, just to give you an idea of what we're starting with.I...I tried something called the full English breakfast, which sounds pretty impressive, they've been serving the same breakfast for 2,000 years, which is impressive, until you realize there have been a lot of culinary advancements in the last 2,000 years, like the invention of flavor, for instance.And...This is what you get with the full English breakfast, a cup of legs, runny side up, all right, whatever, pork and beans at breakfast, yes, indubitably, more of those, please, more beans, please, pork sausage or blood sausage, whichever sounds delicious-er to you at half six, and bacon, but it's not skinny American bacon, it's that thick Eurostylin plate hoggin, energy boggin, artery cloggin, baby got back bacon, bacon, baby.And one slice of tomato, which tastes like...It tastes like fish.I don't know how it's some kind of fish-ish dish.And on a separate non-cholesterol plate, you get toast, and I thought, well, thank goodness, how can you mess up toast, right?Well, let me count the ways, because over there, it comes out burned, yet cold, and dry, and flavorless, and they cut it into triangles, so really what you have is a plate full of these little Wheaton trowels used to transport the fat and carbs.And on a separate non-cholesterol plate, you get toast, and I thought, well, thank goodness, how can you mess up toast, right?So they put fat and cholesterol from the plate to their gob, which is what they call, that's what they eat every day, eggs and beans and sausage and bacon, and I'm no healthologist, but I don't think you should be starting your day with four foods from the lard group.That's probably not good for your inside.I said, forget that, I'll have some cereal, but every time I order Cheerios, the waiter would leave.Sorry.Yes, that'sThat wasn't everybodyIf you could pleaseexplain that oneto the quiet peopleThat one's

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