I take a look around
think of places I have been
there really aren't too many
I would like to see again
I've been to 30
8 of 50 states
most of them I'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
back on the east coast
dc's a little *** hole
you'll freeze to death in JERSEY
but florida's the best
I think I would rather have
prostate cancer
than visit oklahoma
it's those Sooner's I detest
when I see the coast
I'm at home at last
take the Lincoln Monument
and cram it up your ass
Jesus-MotherFucking-Christ, a giant ball of yarn!
don't forget to see that thing
when you're on your way to Yuma
KOA is A-OK
but they ain't got no Shoney's
I love turquoise
and shells of abalone
testicular tumors
sound so much nicer
than seeing Dollywood
in the hills of tennessee
sentence me to life
in a tijuana prison
I don't really care
feed Dorito's to the bears
fireworks here and there
California is for me
m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-(FART!)-i!
zillions of mosquitos are
gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing
I bought some decoy ducks
in some states your sister
is the only one you ***
the nascar whores of north carolina
with ovarian cysts
the size of missouri
do yourself and stay in California
bye...bye...bye....goodbye!